DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES

Does getting older mean forgetting the boundaries of what is considered to be normal behaviour and maintaining decent standards of etiquette?  Well perhaps in my case it does.  Last Sunday I did something I have never done before, and regrettably for me it did not involve anything detailed in the Karma Sutra.

I came home after a day at work, which is not the norm for me on the weekends but circumstances dictated it to be a necessity on this occasion.  I had been thinking deeply on the journey home in the car what I would make myself for dinner and began to look forward, no I would go as far as to claim, to fantasise about my soon to be ready chicken stir fry with noodles.

Having reached my flat, I then embarked on my usual evening routine which consists of make-up removal and then changing into my fleecy Primani PJ’s together with my furry slippers and oversized dressing gown.  At this point I usually exhale a huge sigh of relief as I enter into a zone of relaxation.  However, in this particular instance my Zen-like state was about to be disrupted by my next discovery.  Upon entering the kitchen ready to cook my extravaganza I opened the cupboard to find NO SOY SAUCE.  A stir fry with no soy sauce is like Tom without Jerry or Ant without Dec!!!

I can honestly say I don’t know what came over me as I have truly never done this before.  I was like a woman possessed and had to have this ingredient so vital to my evening meal.  I pulled on my Ugg boots, grabbed a large woolly scarf and hat, jumped in the car and headed for my Sainsbury’s Local.  Since it was already pitch black outside I couldn’t very well put on my signature sunglasses I wear to hide a sans maquillage face, so had to go out for all the world to see me looking au naturel, not a sight I would wish to inflict on others on a regular basis.  As I was standing in the queue to pay, I was getting more and more twitchy, worrying that someone I knew would see me.  Finally, it was my turn to pay at the till and all I could think of as the Assistant asked me if I had a Nectar card and if I wanted a 5 pence bag was that I am standing in front of this person with no underwear on in my night clothes.  What was I thinking of by going out in public like this????????  Where is my sense of decorum and decency??